How is it possible to explain what one person may have done to your life? Why would that person be so unknowingly (or possibly knowingly) mean or spiteful....especially never to allow you to get to know others? Why does this person not realize how their judgments cause others to feel in the long run? How they ruined so many units that have been in harmony and functioning together for so long.
I realize that there are many changes in life and we all experience things differently because we are all different people. That is a good thing. But, to do something that harms others without even getting to know the person before you start spreading things that you don't really know about.....that is just plain incredible.
There are reasons that things happen in life. Those things will either make us bitter or better. I am going to choose the better part because I believe that I only have one hope to live for....and that would be a better relationship w/my God and King...Jesus Christ.
I will never know what is in the hearts of others...that is never for me to know....I need not get wrapped up in the here and now, only become more focused on the things that are awaiting me as I grow stronger no matter the circumstance!
Love and Peace
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Food as the friend
I was wondering and getting really frustrated earlier today and just when I thought that I was at my wits end, I discovered that I really have an issue......An issue with food as a friend and a compass for my mounting debt troubles.
Yes, we all make mistakes but I was really covering up my unwillingness to change by eating. Eating everything all the time and mostly in solace. I started doing this as a teen. Food became my emotional outlet for many things. It was there when I needed someone to just hang around and talk to. Only trouble is I was using food so much that no matter how much money I didn't have, I was (and still do) eat by myself and hide food from everyone else. I think that if I have food stuffed in the closet or hidden where no one else will find it that I can just go get it and eat and it will make me feel all better......
Trouble is, because I eat by myself, I have really run myself into a mound of debt. I will eat before I pay a bill and then wonder why there isn't enough money left to pay the bill.....Then I will go out and eat some more....It sure is a lot easier to eat out and not cook....only trouble with that is when you take a family of 5 out to dinner, it really does add up quickly and a lot!
So, not only has my eating not done me any good physically, but it has created a lot more of the emotional stress than I ever needed in my life. It is hurting me by making me large and not wanting to do anything and it is hurting me financially too. I have begun, finally, to realize after almost 25 years of doing this to myself, that I really am hurting emotionally. I now need to change what and how I feel about food......not to let it control me, but to let God do the controlling and let Him take me out of the problem that I have in relying on something that he already says has enough trouble of it's own....Not to worry about tomorrow, or the clothes that I wear or the things that I will eat because He already knows exactly where and why and how all of these things work in our lives!
Now comes the hard part of this all.......CHANGE!!!!!
Yes, we all make mistakes but I was really covering up my unwillingness to change by eating. Eating everything all the time and mostly in solace. I started doing this as a teen. Food became my emotional outlet for many things. It was there when I needed someone to just hang around and talk to. Only trouble is I was using food so much that no matter how much money I didn't have, I was (and still do) eat by myself and hide food from everyone else. I think that if I have food stuffed in the closet or hidden where no one else will find it that I can just go get it and eat and it will make me feel all better......
Trouble is, because I eat by myself, I have really run myself into a mound of debt. I will eat before I pay a bill and then wonder why there isn't enough money left to pay the bill.....Then I will go out and eat some more....It sure is a lot easier to eat out and not cook....only trouble with that is when you take a family of 5 out to dinner, it really does add up quickly and a lot!
So, not only has my eating not done me any good physically, but it has created a lot more of the emotional stress than I ever needed in my life. It is hurting me by making me large and not wanting to do anything and it is hurting me financially too. I have begun, finally, to realize after almost 25 years of doing this to myself, that I really am hurting emotionally. I now need to change what and how I feel about food......not to let it control me, but to let God do the controlling and let Him take me out of the problem that I have in relying on something that he already says has enough trouble of it's own....Not to worry about tomorrow, or the clothes that I wear or the things that I will eat because He already knows exactly where and why and how all of these things work in our lives!
Now comes the hard part of this all.......CHANGE!!!!!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Frustration
Hey there:
I have been thinking about a lot of things lately and realize that I am really far from perfect. Of course, we all are in some way, shape or form, but I mean really, not perfect. I cannot please everyone who asks me a question about something in my life. I feel as though I have failed on some very large level. How do we all go through life on a shoe-string and not get caught in some trap that it manages to create around all of the choices that we make?
I guess that is why I am trying to unravel all of the things that I thought once were the 'right' decisions to make. Especially financially. Why is it that we seem to believe that living on the very edge of making all of our monthly payments is something that should give us satisfaction. And, I know that I am NOT the only person out there who genuinly tries really hard to make the 'right' financial decisions only to find that at the end of the month, I am running out of time and money!!!!! It is downright frustrating thinking that I have made some of the greatest contributions only to find that in the long-run, it really hurts. I thank God right now that I am not able to just run out and get all the loans that I need to try and make all of those catch-up payments. I just hate having to go through all the processes of being down in the pit of despair and feeling like no one really cares about it at all......If I try to catch up on this, then that goes behind....and I try to catch up on that, then this goes behind......we all want to have things and we all desire to be accepted, but truly AT WHAT COST????
This really has been very much a hard-fought learning experience for me....I am going to do my best to truly do the things that I now realize are the correct things to do....Not the 'right' thing!
Well, I truly hope that I have helped someone out there who is struggling and can have them know that they are not alone in feeling the way they do......After all, Christ is the one who gave his all for what we enjoy!! FREEDOM!!
Peace and Blessings
I have been thinking about a lot of things lately and realize that I am really far from perfect. Of course, we all are in some way, shape or form, but I mean really, not perfect. I cannot please everyone who asks me a question about something in my life. I feel as though I have failed on some very large level. How do we all go through life on a shoe-string and not get caught in some trap that it manages to create around all of the choices that we make?
I guess that is why I am trying to unravel all of the things that I thought once were the 'right' decisions to make. Especially financially. Why is it that we seem to believe that living on the very edge of making all of our monthly payments is something that should give us satisfaction. And, I know that I am NOT the only person out there who genuinly tries really hard to make the 'right' financial decisions only to find that at the end of the month, I am running out of time and money!!!!! It is downright frustrating thinking that I have made some of the greatest contributions only to find that in the long-run, it really hurts. I thank God right now that I am not able to just run out and get all the loans that I need to try and make all of those catch-up payments. I just hate having to go through all the processes of being down in the pit of despair and feeling like no one really cares about it at all......If I try to catch up on this, then that goes behind....and I try to catch up on that, then this goes behind......we all want to have things and we all desire to be accepted, but truly AT WHAT COST????
This really has been very much a hard-fought learning experience for me....I am going to do my best to truly do the things that I now realize are the correct things to do....Not the 'right' thing!
Well, I truly hope that I have helped someone out there who is struggling and can have them know that they are not alone in feeling the way they do......After all, Christ is the one who gave his all for what we enjoy!! FREEDOM!!
Peace and Blessings
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Getting there
Well, time sure does pass by quickly and we don't even know it! The kids are growing up so much I can't even believe that things will (or have) changed in a short period of time.
With Katharine getting her first job, it just reminds me of how much will happen over the course of the next few years. Seems like she was only just a baby and then an 8 year old asking me a bunch of questions about some homework project that was due. I can't believe how much we think about getting older when we get older. Not to mention all of the fun things that I really look forward to that can be kind of scary. Like, all the kids leaving home and actually doing something somewhere out in the wide world all on their own. Each of them is smart and talented in some way of their own. I only hope that I have done all I can to be the best parent to each of them possible.
Jessica has had the 'first' date. And she beamed from ear to ear before and after it! I am glad that they can have friends of their own and that they are going to learn things about the world that they don't know yet. It can be scary, but I do have to let them grow up and not hold them back or they will never live up to their full potential.
So then comes Joshua who is trying to act like a teenager but still only will be 11 soon. He is going to play a solo on his trumpet soon and likes to play basketball. He is maturing in some areas, but really still just the baby of the family that I want him to be.
So, in all things we are 'getting there' some how, some way, we all get there someday!
Love ya'all
With Katharine getting her first job, it just reminds me of how much will happen over the course of the next few years. Seems like she was only just a baby and then an 8 year old asking me a bunch of questions about some homework project that was due. I can't believe how much we think about getting older when we get older. Not to mention all of the fun things that I really look forward to that can be kind of scary. Like, all the kids leaving home and actually doing something somewhere out in the wide world all on their own. Each of them is smart and talented in some way of their own. I only hope that I have done all I can to be the best parent to each of them possible.
Jessica has had the 'first' date. And she beamed from ear to ear before and after it! I am glad that they can have friends of their own and that they are going to learn things about the world that they don't know yet. It can be scary, but I do have to let them grow up and not hold them back or they will never live up to their full potential.
So then comes Joshua who is trying to act like a teenager but still only will be 11 soon. He is going to play a solo on his trumpet soon and likes to play basketball. He is maturing in some areas, but really still just the baby of the family that I want him to be.
So, in all things we are 'getting there' some how, some way, we all get there someday!
Love ya'all
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Time passing
Well, here it is the beginning of yet another year. Life presents so many challenges every day. Lately those challenges have been pretty minor.....the weather has been pretty cold and so the water pipes froze on the porch where our washer was. Well, that burned the pump and so we had to get a new one. Then, get the new one, put it in the basement and discovered that new faucets were needed to get the washer hooked up properly. Well....all is taken care of now and it is nice to finally be able to finish laundry at home once again. We are pretty fortunate.
I have been blessed lately to be back in contact with some old friends from when I was young. It makes me think back to those times of my life when I did some pretty crazy things. Not so crazy that I was wild or terribly out of control, but crazy that I didn't know much better in my own life at the time. I am glad that we all grow up and have the chance to change many things about ourselves. So much of that change comes by choice in our lives. We make those choices every day. We choose when to get up, when to go to bed, what to read, who to talk to - you get the idea....anyway, those choices can so affect our lives that we sometimes live with the side-effects of those choices. We may end up sick or in debt, or sometimes even wrapped up in our own thoughts about how we got to where we are.
I have been thinking back on my life about my choices in eating. There has been much about it that sometimes I can certainly blame someone, anyone, for my habits but, the truth is; I am the one who made those decisions to make those habits. I simply just need to make different choices in regard to that end. I simply don't know where to begin. I am looking to make changes in my heart and pray that by immersing myself in prayer and the Bible, I will be able to make better choices because I truly am a child of the King and he takes care of my every need. I will be making different choices today than yesterday and will be able to change those habits so that I will be able to glorify Christ The Lord.
God Bless you all each and every day!
Shirley
I have been blessed lately to be back in contact with some old friends from when I was young. It makes me think back to those times of my life when I did some pretty crazy things. Not so crazy that I was wild or terribly out of control, but crazy that I didn't know much better in my own life at the time. I am glad that we all grow up and have the chance to change many things about ourselves. So much of that change comes by choice in our lives. We make those choices every day. We choose when to get up, when to go to bed, what to read, who to talk to - you get the idea....anyway, those choices can so affect our lives that we sometimes live with the side-effects of those choices. We may end up sick or in debt, or sometimes even wrapped up in our own thoughts about how we got to where we are.
I have been thinking back on my life about my choices in eating. There has been much about it that sometimes I can certainly blame someone, anyone, for my habits but, the truth is; I am the one who made those decisions to make those habits. I simply just need to make different choices in regard to that end. I simply don't know where to begin. I am looking to make changes in my heart and pray that by immersing myself in prayer and the Bible, I will be able to make better choices because I truly am a child of the King and he takes care of my every need. I will be making different choices today than yesterday and will be able to change those habits so that I will be able to glorify Christ The Lord.
God Bless you all each and every day!
Shirley
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