Yes, for some time now I have had sleeplessness......this doesn't seem to be just a once in a while kind of thing. It seems to be every single cotten pickin' night lately. I have had many nights of not being able to sleep over the course of my life but, lately it just seems to be never ending. I am getting so afraid that when I actually feel tired, I don't really want to go to bed because I am afraid that I will wake up.
I seem to be able to fall asleep most nights no problem. But, over the last week or two I have been waking at about the same time each night and then start tossing and turning and going over all kinds of things in my head and, of course, this makes things that much worse. My mind is telling me that I really want to sleep but at the same time it tells me that I need to get up and do things.
I say that all this waking up and thinking, tossing and just plain being awake in the middle of the nhight has caused most of my weight gain and failed attempts at losing it at all. I am extremly frustrated. I have tried exercise before sleeping. I have tried warm milk. I have tried just going to bed when I am tired. I have tried nice relaxing showers. I have tried a massage (of sorts). I have even tried some pills to get myself to sleep. All this to no avail.
I have yet to figure out exactly why this is happening to me. I feel like the incredible non-sleeping person. I can honestly say that I don't like noise of any sort while I sleep and if I happen to hear noise when trying to get back to sleep or can't just seem to get comfortable, it only makes the situation worse. I really can't tolerate it when I wake up and my husband is in bed and is snoring. That makes my heart race and makes it worse. But, if he doesn't come to bed by a certain time, then I wake up. I feel as though I am not able to win this battle.
Here it is now at 3:30 in the morning and I have probably been awake for more than 2 hours already. Went to bed at around 10:30 and went to sleep around 11 after reading. Woke at around 12:15 because the husband hadn't come to bed yet. Fell asleep and didn't hear him come in tonight, but at 1:30 woke up. Have been tossing and turning since then and finally got myself up out of bed and started crying and pacing and here it is at this hour in the night when all others have had at least 3 hours of sleep by now. I don't know what I am to do.....If I go to bed when I am tired, I can't sleep, if it exercise or whatever, I don't get enough sleep......guess the question is, 'what is the right amount of sleep for me?'
I am still waiting for that answer......and then, will I actually start losing weight if I can sleep through the night? I do notice that on most nights when this happens, I can actually not eat before bed, but will gain anywhere from 3-5 lbs!!!! How ridiculous!!!
well, guess I will ready/study for a while now before everyone gets up! See ya later!
