I have been thinking lately about how much my life has changed over the course of the last 18 years. I have been married almost that long to a wonderful, loving husband and have 3 wonderful kids. I don't know that I would change much about my life right now.
I have realized how much I have changed though. I have gone from being a very rebellious kind of kid to a woman of God who wonders how time managed to change so fast to where I am today.
I know that when I got married, I never pictured my life quite the way it has happened. I know that there have been many moments in time when I would have given up. If not for the time when I was alone and in despair after some really terrible times in my life, I don't think that w/out God my life would be what it is today. I thank God each day that I have been given such a loving, forgiving husband who has accepted me through all the ups and downs of everyday life. I know that if it were not for him, that I would be living a much different life today.
Sometimes we all feel lonely and jealous over such really unimportant things that come our way. I must say that sometimes I am overwhelmed by all that. I get confused by what I say and what is going on in my head. Sometimes I think that I am just really not worth having anyone around me but, I know that I am surrounded by people who will care for a love me through every event in my life.
Right now I am so happy to be here in this small community where I can actually get to know others and others w/me. To feel as though I am a worthy person who can contribute to anything that is going on and that I have something that will be heard and taken at face value is so great for me. My life has been full of moments of despair but I am willing to learn from anyone who will teach me something that is more important in life.
Life is good because of all I have learned over the course of the last 18+ years of my life and because w/out forgiveness by God, I will never be the same.
