Food as the friend

I was wondering and getting really frustrated earlier today and just when I thought that I was at my wits end, I discovered that I really have an issue......An issue with food as a friend and a compass for my mounting debt troubles.

Yes, we all make mistakes but I was really covering up my unwillingness to change by eating. Eating everything all the time and mostly in solace. I started doing this as a teen. Food became my emotional outlet for many things. It was there when I needed someone to just hang around and talk to. Only trouble is I was using food so much that no matter how much money I didn't have, I was (and still do) eat by myself and hide food from everyone else. I think that if I have food stuffed in the closet or hidden where no one else will find it that I can just go get it and eat and it will make me feel all better......

Trouble is, because I eat by myself, I have really run myself into a mound of debt. I will eat before I pay a bill and then wonder why there isn't enough money left to pay the bill.....Then I will go out and eat some more....It sure is a lot easier to eat out and not cook....only trouble with that is when you take a family of 5 out to dinner, it really does add up quickly and a lot!

So, not only has my eating not done me any good physically, but it has created a lot more of the emotional stress than I ever needed in my life. It is hurting me by making me large and not wanting to do anything and it is hurting me financially too. I have begun, finally, to realize after almost 25 years of doing this to myself, that I really am hurting emotionally. I now need to change what and how I feel about food......not to let it control me, but to let God do the controlling and let Him take me out of the problem that I have in relying on something that he already says has enough trouble of it's own....Not to worry about tomorrow, or the clothes that I wear or the things that I will eat because He already knows exactly where and why and how all of these things work in our lives!

Now comes the hard part of this all.......CHANGE!!!!!