Brokenness

I am a very broken person.  One whom has come from parts of my past that have caused me to retreat into myself and mistrust others around me.  You have no idea what you have done to cause this.  It breaks me so many ways.  I know that broken people hurt others.  It's never that I mean to do it, but as a defense mechanism, it happens.

I also know that in my brokenness, I need to be healed.  Healed from the hurts that people have unknowingly inflicted on me.  I am stronger than this because of God and his healing graces.  But, I need to trust Him for the healing.  I don't like feeling this way at all!

All of us are broken in one way or another.  Some of us can hide it really well through their social interactions, while others aren't so good at it and it makes them seem very unfriendly and mistrusting, like me.

I have the need to change these things a lot....Sometimes, the things in my head, are the thoughts that give me some comfort for the things I may need to change.  Jesus is the only healer that will truly get me to replace the brokenness with wholeness and mercy.

These things will only be accomplished as I grow in relationship to Him.  It has happened in the past, and the only thing that will help to heal me in the future.  I am praying for the changes to come and for me to be brave enough to change according to what He has set out for me; even with life's challenges ahead.

Acceptance of myself with  others in the world is futile as He is the only one who has accepted me already!!